Thanksgiving Custody Schedule: Who Gets the Kids?
Thanksgiving is one of the holidays separated parents negotiate most. A long weekend, travel, and big family dinners make it a pressure point. Here's how families commonly split it.
by The CoreParent Co-Founders · Last updated
In short
Most families either alternate Thanksgiving by year or split the long weekend, with one parent having Thursday and the other Friday through Sunday. Whatever you pick, write down the start and end times and how travel works.
When it falls
In the US, Thanksgiving is the fourth Thursday of November, so it always lands between November 22 and 28. Many schools close Thursday and Friday, and some close Wednesday or the whole week. Say whether "Thanksgiving" in your plan means the day, the long weekend, or the full break.
Dates, 2026 to 2028
- Thanksgiving: Thursday, November 26, 2026
- Thanksgiving: Thursday, November 25, 2027
- Thanksgiving: Thursday, November 23, 2028
Typical arrangements
Parent A takes even years, Parent B takes odd years. The full four-day weekend (Thursday through Sunday) goes to the on-parent. Simple, predictable, and even over time.
Thanksgiving Day divided, e.g. morning with Parent A, dinner with Parent B. Works for families who live close and want both parents at Thanksgiving every year. Risk: travel day with young children.
Parent A has Thanksgiving Day and overnight; Parent B has Friday through Sunday. Gives each parent meaningful time without travel on the holiday itself.
Thanksgiving simply follows the regular custody calendar with no special arrangement. Whichever parent has the kids that week gets the holiday. Works for families with stable schedules but can feel unfair over time.
Sample plan wording
Example wording to adapt, not legal advice. Use your own names, times, and places, and check what is required where you live.
Alternating years
In even-numbered years, Parent A has the children from 6:00 p.m. on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving until 6:00 p.m. on the Sunday after. In odd-numbered years, Parent B has the same time. This holiday time takes the place of the regular schedule.
Thursday and Friday to Sunday
Each year, one parent has the children from 9:00 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day until 9:00 a.m. on Friday, and the other has them from 9:00 a.m. Friday until 6:00 p.m. Sunday. Parent A has Thursday in even-numbered years and Parent B in odd-numbered years.
What to decide in advance
- Which years each parent has it. Even and odd years with a name next to each is the clearest way to write it.
- What the holiday covers. The day only, Wednesday night to Sunday, or the whole school break, with exact start and end times.
- Travel, notice, and costs. If either of you might travel, agree on notice, what to share (flights, address, phone), the latest return before school, and who pays.
- Pickup and drop-off. Say where the exchange happens and who drives, and allow for holiday traffic. If there is a protection order, its terms on exchanges come first, and handoffs can happen at a safe public place or through a trusted third party.
By age
General guidance only. Every child is different, and what fits can change as they grow.
- Under 5: Long drives and late dinners are hard on little ones, so a Thursday and Friday split is often easier than a split day.
- Ages 5 to 12: Kids start to care about traditions and cousins. Keep favorite traditions in both homes, even if the off-year parent celebrates on another day.
- Teens: Teens may have games, jobs, or friends in town. Listen to their input on the long weekend, while the parents still make the final call.
Common conflict scenarios
Negotiate explicit arrival and departure times in your plan, e.g. 'Children will be at Grandma A's dinner from 1-3pm and Grandma B's dinner from 4-7pm'. Pickups and drop-offs handled by the on-duty parent for that block.
Many plans require written notice, often 30 to 60 days ahead, for out-of-state travel during holiday time, plus an itinerary and contact info. Build this into your plan.
Honor age-appropriate input, but don't let the kids become the decision-makers. How much weight a child's wishes carry, and at what age, varies by family and by state, so agree on your approach in the plan to avoid year-by-year disputes.
Frequently asked questions
Who gets Thanksgiving in a 50/50 schedule?
A 50/50 schedule doesn't decide it on its own: the holiday lands on whoever has that Thursday unless the plan says otherwise. Many 50/50 families alternate the long weekend by year and write that the holiday replaces the regular rotation.
What if Thanksgiving falls on the other parent's regular weekend?
Generally, if your plan lists Thanksgiving, the holiday schedule overrides the regular rotation for that time, then the regular schedule resumes.
Can we celebrate on a different day?
Yes, and many families do. The parent without the holiday that year often holds their own dinner the weekend before or after, which keeps the tradition without a tug-of-war over the date.
How much notice should we give for holiday travel?
There's no single rule. Many plans ask for written notice 30 to 60 days ahead, with the itinerary. Pick a number you can both live with.
Put it in your plan and on your calendar
In CoreParent's plan builder, Thanksgiving is one of the common holidays: set it to alternate by even and odd years, split, or always with one parent, and write the long-weekend times in the holiday notes. On your calendar, Thanksgiving Day goes to the parent the plan gives it to, in place of the regular rotation. Share it with your co-parent, or keep it to yourself.